🔗 Share this article That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year. As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote. And Just Like That How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob? All’s Fair ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was almost the least of this show's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant egotist. The Supercomputer Drama Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost. MobLand Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back. Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic. With Love, Meghan Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was like consuming a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series. The Inheritance It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it. Too Much How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer. The Knox Dramatisation This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so. Prime Target We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.